Oppressed. Who? Me?

“EXCUSE ME?!” I said, fixing my scarf. I could feel all the blood in my body rushing to my head. I was furious. Who does this kid think he is to try to pull my hijab (Arabic for a headscarf) off? “Can I help you?!” I asked sternly.

“What? I just wanted to see the color of your hair,” said the sophomore boy in my chef’s course class freshmen year, with a mischievous smile. He thought it was funny to try to pull my hijab off, but not to me. The second bell hadn’t rung yet, but the class was full. It was first period, and everyone was still quiet even though the teacher hadn’t come in yet.

No one had ever tried to do such as thing to me before; it could’ve been because I went to a private school up until that year where the classrooms were divided in half with the girls on one side and the boys on the other. Either way, I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I didn’t know what to say to him, but some how words were just flowing out of my mouth. I didn’t even know what I was saying. My whole body was shaking out of anger and nervousness. I’ve never spoken so loudly before, especially to a guy.

“What do you mean see my hair? There is a reason why I cover my hair and it’s so you don’t know what it looks like! Now go back to your seat and don’t even think about coming close to me again! Let alone, touch me or my hijab!”

The class went more silent than it already was. Everyone was staring at me. All I remember was seeing my friends looking at me with their jaws dropped. The rest of the period I couldn’t concentrate. I was still nervous and upset. After I calmed down, I was able to think about what happened. This incident taught me something very important. I went to a school with almost 2500 students, and there were barely five girls who wore hijab walking the halls. This guy whatever his intentions, clearly didn’t know how important my hijab was to me. Most of all he didn’t know why I wear it. He saw me as a vulnerable girl who was most probably oppressed, and forced to cover myself the way I do. I decided at that moment that I was going to try my best to educate him and others like him.

Every time he saw woman fully covered, it always had a negative connotation. All over the news there were images of women fully covered while the news anchor would talk about terrorist attacks. These images suggested that a woman who looked like me had something to do with a terrorist or a terrorist attack. These images suggested that all Muslim women were oppressed. Oppressed? Who? Me?

Apparently as a Muslim woman I am supposed to be oppressed. What I don’t understand though, is how am I oppressed as a Muslim, when we are asked to honor and respect the women of Islam? Islam has given me such a high status that it puts me on a pedestal. As a Muslim, I am asked to cover myself, not because my parents are forcing me to, but because Allah (Arabic for God) asked me to. Covering myself allows me to stay modest. People are forced to look at me for who I am, not what I look like. This causes people to respect me. My hijab creates an invisible shield around me, which protects me from the evil eyes of others. When I walk out of my house, no man has the courage to look at me with inappropriate intentions. He sees me for who I am, my intelligence, my character, and how loving and caring I am. This way I’m guaranteed to find a husband who will love me for me and not for anything else.

Before Islam, people used to think of their daughters as a disgrace to the family. Fathers used to bury their daughters alive when they were born. Islam taught Muslims to stop burying their daughters and in fact love them, because a daughter is probably the best blessing Allah could have sent down for mankind. Allah told us that a person who raises three daughters with respect and good character, they are guaranteed paradise. A man who raises even one daughter with respect and good character is guaranteed paradise.

As a wife, a woman is considered the backbone and foundation of the family. She plays an important role in a man’s life. She can help her husband either succeed or fail in any aspect of life, whether it is in his career, his religion, or his family life in general. Women are asked to stay home as much as possible to watch over the house and property. They are the guardians of the house in that aspect. Men are asked to take care of the external affairs. They are the guardians in that aspect. Both husband and wife are equal guardians of the house in their own ways.

As a mother, a woman plays a very important role. Allah said that paradise lies at the feet of the mother. We are to love them and care for them as much as possible, because no matter what we do we can never make up for the way she loved and cared for us before and after we were born. As a mother we play another important role, because the way we raise our children is how we can expect the world to turn out to be. That is why it is important to raise our children to grow up to be good Muslims with good character, so they can be role models for others.

Most accusations you hear about a Muslim woman being oppressed are made because of claims that families or parents mistreat or disrespect their daughters. I have to admit. My family never mistreated me nor do I know anyone who has been treated that way. Girls are thought to be the respect and dignity of the house. Anyone who mistreats them, it is like they have disrespected the whole entire family, which includes extended family as well. My family has always treated me like a princess. They loved me, respected me, and honored me. All of my friends and family friends will say the same. In a perfect world we live the perfect life. However, we don’t live in a perfect world.

The media likes to represent covered Muslim women like me with connotations of oppression and violence. The things that the few oppressed women we hear about go through could happen to any woman in any country or even religious background. There are many cases of abuse towards women across the world. However no one ever exploits these cases to be religious oppression. In fact, many times religion might not even be mentioned.

Do you know what really oppresses me? I feel oppressed when I get rejected service at a restaurant or get singled out at the airport because they are afraid I might be hiding a bomb under my hijab. I feel oppressed when mothers frantically drag their kids away from me when I walk by. Most of all I feel oppressed when images of Muslim women covered like me are on the screen with the call to prayer playing in the background while the news anchor or reporter is talking about terrorist attacks.

What I am trying to say is that at every stage in my life as a Muslim woman I am given a lot of respect and honor. So, if my religion tells me to respect myself and asks my Muslim brothers and sisters to respect me as well, how am I oppressed? So please stop oppressing me by singling me out when I have as much of a right to be here as any other citizen of America.