“EXCUSE ME?!” I said, fixing my scarf. I could feel all the
blood in my body rushing to my head. I was furious. Who does this kid think he
is to try to pull my hijab (Arabic for a headscarf) off? “Can I help you?!” I
asked sternly.
“What? I just wanted to see the color of your hair,” said
the sophomore boy in my chef’s course class freshmen year, with a mischievous
smile. He thought it was funny to try to pull my hijab off, but not to me. The
second bell hadn’t rung yet, but the class was full. It was first period, and
everyone was still quiet even though the teacher hadn’t come in yet.
No one had ever tried to do such as thing to me before; it
could’ve been because I went to a private school up until that year where the
classrooms were divided in half with the girls on one side and the boys on the
other. Either way, I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I didn’t know
what to say to him, but some how words were just flowing out of my mouth. I
didn’t even know what I was saying. My whole body was shaking out of anger and
nervousness. I’ve never spoken so loudly before, especially to a guy.
“What do you mean see my hair? There is a reason why I cover
my hair and it’s so you don’t know what it looks like! Now go back to your seat
and don’t even think about coming close to me again! Let alone, touch me or my
hijab!”
The class went more silent than it already was. Everyone was
staring at me. All I remember was seeing my friends looking at me with their
jaws dropped. The rest of the period I couldn’t concentrate. I was still nervous
and upset. After I calmed down, I was able to think about what happened. This
incident taught me something very important. I went to a school with almost
2500 students, and there were barely five girls who wore hijab walking the halls.
This guy whatever his intentions, clearly didn’t know how important my hijab
was to me. Most of all he didn’t know why I wear it. He saw me as a vulnerable
girl who was most probably oppressed, and forced to cover myself the way I do.
I decided at that moment that I was going to try my best to educate him and
others like him.
Every time he saw woman fully covered, it always had a
negative connotation. All over the news there were images of women fully
covered while the news anchor would talk about terrorist attacks. These images
suggested that a woman who looked like me had something to do with a terrorist
or a terrorist attack. These images suggested that all Muslim women were
oppressed. Oppressed? Who? Me?
Apparently as a Muslim woman I am supposed to be oppressed.
What I don’t understand though, is how am I oppressed as a Muslim, when we are asked
to honor and respect the women of Islam? Islam has given me such a high status
that it puts me on a pedestal. As a Muslim, I am asked to cover myself, not
because my parents are forcing me to, but because Allah (Arabic for God) asked
me to. Covering myself allows me to stay modest. People are forced to look at
me for who I am, not what I look like. This causes people to respect me. My
hijab creates an invisible shield around me, which protects me from the evil
eyes of others. When I walk out of my house, no man has the courage to look at
me with inappropriate intentions. He sees me for who I am, my intelligence, my
character, and how loving and caring I am. This way I’m guaranteed to find a
husband who will love me for me and not for anything else.
Before Islam, people used to think of their daughters as a
disgrace to the family. Fathers used to bury their daughters alive when they
were born. Islam taught Muslims to stop burying their daughters and in fact
love them, because a daughter is probably the best blessing Allah could have
sent down for mankind. Allah told us that a person who raises three daughters
with respect and good character, they are guaranteed paradise. A man who raises
even one daughter with respect and good character is guaranteed paradise.
As a wife, a woman is considered the backbone and foundation
of the family. She plays an important role in a man’s life. She can help her
husband either succeed or fail in any aspect of life, whether it is in his
career, his religion, or his family life in general. Women are asked to stay
home as much as possible to watch over the house and property. They are the
guardians of the house in that aspect. Men are asked to take care of the
external affairs. They are the guardians in that aspect. Both husband and wife
are equal guardians of the house in their own ways.
As a mother, a woman plays a very important role. Allah said
that paradise lies at the feet of the mother. We are to love them and care for
them as much as possible, because no matter what we do we can never make up for
the way she loved and cared for us before and after we were born. As a mother
we play another important role, because the way we raise our children is how we
can expect the world to turn out to be. That is why it is important to raise
our children to grow up to be good Muslims with good character, so they can be
role models for others.
Most accusations you hear about a Muslim woman being
oppressed are made because of claims that families or parents mistreat or
disrespect their daughters. I have to admit. My family never mistreated me nor
do I know anyone who has been treated that way. Girls are thought to be the
respect and dignity of the house. Anyone who mistreats them, it is like they
have disrespected the whole entire family, which includes extended family as
well. My family has always treated me like a princess. They loved me, respected
me, and honored me. All of my friends and family friends will say the same. In
a perfect world we live the perfect life. However, we don’t live in a perfect
world.
The media likes to represent covered Muslim women like me
with connotations of oppression and violence. The things that the few oppressed
women we hear about go through could happen to any woman in any country or even
religious background. There are many cases of abuse towards women across the
world. However no one ever exploits these cases to be religious oppression. In
fact, many times religion might not even be mentioned.
Do you know what really oppresses me? I feel oppressed when
I get rejected service at a restaurant or get singled out at the airport
because they are afraid I might be hiding a bomb under my hijab. I feel
oppressed when mothers frantically drag their kids away from me when I walk by.
Most of all I feel oppressed when images of Muslim women covered like me are on
the screen with the call to prayer playing in the background while the news
anchor or reporter is talking about terrorist attacks.
What I am trying to say is that at every stage in my life as
a Muslim woman I am given a lot of respect and honor. So, if my religion tells
me to respect myself and asks my Muslim brothers and sisters to respect me as
well, how am I oppressed? So please stop oppressing me by singling me out when
I have as much of a right to be here as any other citizen of America.
